we can look you in the eye and say we’re not afraid to die

 We are soldiers; it’s behind all of our eyes.  It is a frustrating position to hold but we are the chosen ones, chosen honorably, chosen to fight injustice.  With that though our eyes are opened, and forever ingrained in our hearts is the injustice that we see.  The heaviness of the honor comes from the obligation to fight in the battle.  In a way we did not choose this, but by the King we have been chosen to represent Him and we cannot reject the call.  How have we gotten into this mess?  Here we don’t go to church, we are church.  Sometimes I feel like the lowly violin players in one of the last scenes of titanic singing of hope as the hull cracks and the mast moans under the pressure.   The body is seemingly succumbing to disunity and pettiness under the threatening hopelessness of the church or is it the oppressive yoke of religion or is it just injustice?  It is not hopeless, this I am certain of because with Christ nothing is hopeless and joy is always an option.  “…we rejoice in the glory of God.  More than this we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans)  We’ve been in the middle of it for long enough to see its destruction.  We could not simply dip our toes into the water; we had to dive into this sea of religion to see its realness and to conquer our fear and blindness of it.  We are being trained:  to know it, to recognize it and to fight it.  But with it comes exhaustion and defeat that reminds us it is not by our own efforts that we can fight this.  We are not the heroes, we are just soldiers.  Without Him we are dead, we are blinded, and we are lost.  Lord could I not have simply lived contently in my ignorance; I never asked to fight, I only wanted peace.  We have been chosen and called to fight, not with words but with actions.  We have been called to not only bring the truth but to believe it and live it; for if we speak it, shouldn’ t that be an indication of our beliefs?  And if we truly believe it, does it not affect our ways of life?  For what is religion if it’s not a way of life?  If it is not rooted in a deep love and desire to satisfy the one who has justified us?  It is a bunch of empty actions and we become relentless clanging symbols-from my experience here I only see religion causing people to fall away from truth.  Where have we gone wrong?  Religion, it is killing the world, it is destroying the name of Jesus.  How do I deal with seeing Jesus crying because His own body is killing him?   What do we do, how do we fight this?   We love.  We approach this brokenness with compassion and humility.  We seek His will everyday and realize that this is not our battle and that all will be reconciled.  I have to trust God fills in the gaps.  “The Lord will cause His majestic voice to be heard and the descending blow of HIs arm to be seen.” (Isaiah 30)   I have to listen and be obedient.  “In returning and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust shall be your strength…your Teacher will not hide himself anymore but your eyes will see your Teacher.  And your ears shall hear a word behind you, “this is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  “Every stroke of the appointed staff that the Lord lays on them will be to the sound of tambourines and lyres.  Battling with brandished arm, He will fight with them.” (Isaiah 30). 

Isaiah 42:5-9, 43:1-5, 10

Italics- “We Are Soldiers”  by Tara Borman – thank you T for helping me process life and express my heart.

 –jenessa lynn