Jesse is my leader and a great leader he is-a while back he
shared a dream with us. This dream was told to him by his mother who, in turn,
heard it from a friend (true story I promise). 
In the dream was a picture of many cities, in fact here were 1000 of
them.  The concerning part was that they
were all on fire.  The end.  J ........were the cities being destroyed
by a flaming, raging bonfire or where they established and everlasting as they
burn with a spiritual fire? 

Maybe it
takes 1000 cities to burn on fire for 1000 cities to be set on spiritual fire....

Suburbs here in Matamoras are nothing like what I recall of
suburbs at home.   As we walked among the
garbage piles and literally waded through puddles on dangerously flooded dirt
roads in one particular neighborhood we began to pray.  Team Uganda 2 is very blessed by Jessica
because of her knowledge in Spanish so when approaching homes communication is
more efficient.  As we came to one
particular home I naturally began to think of what we might pray for.  As Jess began to ask the requests of the
household I thought "we need to pray for this lady's husband because he is out
of work and work is a great need here." 

This whole walking in the Spirit stuff has come to be
frustrating for me at times, I feel pressure to listen intently and somehow know the right thing to do.  I don't feel as though I need God to speak to
me in radical ways like visions and mind blowing revelations, I just want to
know Jesus but hearing people around me hustle about with mysterious
unexplainable words from the Spirit, I feel lonely.  This is one thing I have to surrender, be in
stillness and know His affections for me are not fleeting.  When I quiet myself and stop furrowing my
brow in efforts to do my best at this
I continue to hear "Beloved I am with you."  

On our day off this past week we went to the beach.  The sky was bigger than normal and the tide
spoke in an uneasy language I did not understand.  With no one in sight I wandered off down the
shoreline and came across an abandoned wind beaten shack.  It stood there looking out at the horizon
waiting.  It was sad and a feeling of
creepiness grew as I got closer.  It just
stood there waiting for something....I stared at it a while, it looked fragile
and older than it should have yet at the same time unafraid of the approaching
storm; content to just stay there even though the rest had left long ago.  It was pretty much the farthest away from
home I have ever felt yet I kept thinking I am God's beloved and He is here
with me...that is all I need and it is not sad at all, in fact, it's kind of
secret.   I don't have to strain to hear God, He is
right with me and we walk together.  This
was really confirmed for me because as it turns out, back in the suburbs of
Matamoras, the moment I was telling everyone what I thought we should pray
about for that lady she was expressing that exact need to Jessica but in
Spanish.  How did I know that? I asked
God.  I don't know Spanish but I am
learning God works despite my ignorance. 
Do not be discouraged or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you
wherever you go...and  tomorrow the Lord
will do wonders  among you (Joshua 1 and
3).  Why do I try to do things that are
within my capabilities?  Why not try and
part the waters of injustice because then when we cross the Jordan on dry land
God gets the glory and that is the whole point. 
Why does it take 1000 cities burning for me to be on fire for justice
and on fire for walking in the Spirit? 
Why does it take so long for me to get beyond myself and just listen? 

My God is alive- this I know because I am walking in His
word and finding what it feels like to live in truth.  Truths such as- do not lean on your own
understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your
paths, and Isaiah 30:20-21 have meaning to me in a very real sense.  What makes me sad is that it takes getting me
to these situations for me to listen, for me to be willing to let go enough and
give control to God.  Usually it's all
about me and I don't even realize. 
Usually no one would even approach someone in the grocery store with a
conviction from God let alone know what to say and how to say it in a different
language.  

If you want to know how to live look at Jesus, if you want
to know what to say know Jesus.   I feel
like there are too many people who talk about Jesus and not enough who talk
like Him.   "Jesus is God's language, a
living vocabulary."   When Jesus spoke
people looked at each other in wonder and amazement, he said things that didn't
make sense yet it made so much sense that every other question didn't
matter.  Like when he spoke of giving to
Caesar what is Caesars and when the rich young ruler came and said Good Teacher
what must I do to enter the Kingdom of heaven Jesus responds saying why do you
call me "good"?  Following Jesus'
teachings and His miracles the crowd would turn to one another with bewildered
faces and a fumbling of emotions completely baffled at the experience (Matt
22:22), I feel like one of them.  We are
encountering Jesus.... So much even that word is getting out about what God is
doing in our community.  This past week
AIM has sent staff from the base in Georgia to come and look at what we are
doing and how they and implement it in other programs.  They come saying, "we have heard about what
is going on here, we have come to find out what is happening-we're hearing
stories and want to know how you ALL are seeking the Spirit as this unified
body." .... it's Jesus...our ministries are exploding because we are listening to
the Spirit.  It's the same thing that
happened when people heard about Jesus and all he was doing.  We are encountering Jesus.  And all because we simplified, surrendered
and are zealously pursuing Jesus.  I have
NEVER seen Jesus so tangibly than this past week!  Unfortunately it seems that we had to arrive
at a place of apathy before these cities would light a fire for holier
purposes.

-jenessa lynn